There may be times when your partner behaves spitefully or reacts to some things that you did or did not do. You have an instinctive feeling that he is jealous; however, he does not explicitly say so. More often than not, men will be too embarrassed to admit it, so to better understand him you need to recognize the subtle signs of his jealous tendencies.
A jealous man wants to hang around you all the time. He must know the details of your whereabouts, activities, and the people whom you interact with in person and even online. He suddenly acts strange and out-of-character whenever he is jealous; being too sweet and caring one day then becoming ill-tempered and aloof the next.
In this article, we further discuss the telltale signs of jealousy in men. These are behaviors that will let you know if your guy is jealous but is trying to hide it from you. You need to look out for these signs as these can indicate whether there are unhealthy attributes in your relationship.
Jealousy in Relationships
Jealousy is a natural feeling and an intuitive reaction that we manifest in certain situations. It is normal to be jealous from time to time. It is not necessarily a bad trait. However, dwelling too much on this emotion and frequently acting impulsively out of jealousy can lead to unhealthy behaviors, which interfere with your relationships and daily life.
In romantic relationships, a partner, spouse or significant other will normally get jealous. It may seem sweet at first, thinking that they are doing so because they love you dearly.
Not all jealous people will become abusive though. If it is a healthy kind of jealousy, the intense feeling will settle down and will be resolved without negatively impacting your relationship.
Nevertheless, it can also escalate quickly, if left unchecked. Jealousy can lead to them being possessive, trying to control you, feeling angry often, and being always suspicious of everything that you do.
For this reason, it is essential that you keep an eye out for the early warning signs of undesirable jealous behavior from your loved one. It helps to acknowledge these manifestations so you are able to support each other in managing emotions. Through this, you can also recognize when it is necessary to seek the help of others.
15 Signs He is Jealous But Hiding It
Men can get jealous too. At times, you sense that your lover, boyfriend, or husband has the tendency to get jealous easily, but he has never told you nor admitted this to you. You do not want to get the wrong idea and accuse him of this; however, his actions would tell you otherwise.
Oftentimes, men are embarrassed to admit that they are jealous. They will never tell you directly how they feel. They are not keen on showing or expressing their emotions. Some men will even try to just hide their feelings or disguise them as something else instead. In other cases, they just do not know how to process and express their feelings appropriately.
Besides, admitting that he is jealous will only uncover his weaknesses. People might learn of his insecurities or judge him for having low self-esteem. He is afraid that he might get rejected by his loved ones because of his behavior.
That being the case, it is best to be aware of the signs telling you that a guy is jealous. Being vigilant and recognizing the red flags early on will help you discern if he poses a threat to your relationship because of his possessive personality trait.
Here are the signs you need to look out for. When affected by a gust of jealousy, your partner may be behaving in such manners as the ones listed below.
1. He Expects That You Will Always Spend Time Together
A jealous partner appears to be clingy. He needs to be near you always. He insists that you do things together and would want you to back out or cancel your previous commitments just so you can hang out with him.
Your partner makes it an issue whenever you try to spend a moment away from him to do your own thing. This could indicate that he has jealous tendencies. He does not like it when you do things without him and he is most likely afraid of losing you—that you will meet someone else when you are apart from him.
Consequently, he may tend to show up unexpectedly at places where you and your friends are meeting together. If he can persuade you, he may even insist to tag along with you or accompany you. He wants to see for himself the people you are with and what you are doing when you are away from him.
Taking some time away from your partner to engage in activities or hobbies that you like should be normal for any couple. If your significant other cares for you, he will never force you to give up on your interests and plans so he can have control over your time.
2. He Checks Up On You Way Too Often
Because he hates being away from you, your partner will tend to constantly contact you whenever you are not together or when you are out spending time with family, friends, or coworkers.
He wants to know your every move. He will frequently call or send you messages asking about your day, what you are doing, where you are going, who you are with, and so on. He may also be keeping track if you spend too much time with a particular person.
It seems like he is genuinely concerned about your welfare. However, it is also a sign of jealousy. Since he cannot control what you do when you are apart, it makes him anxious and suspicious of you. He does not trust you enough and is afraid you might be meeting someone else behind his back.
Your partner has to understand that you need to trust and respect each other’s boundaries to show that you truly care about someone. This is necessary for a healthy relationship to thrive.
3. He Checks Your Phone And Stalks Your Social Media Accounts
Your partner does not want you keeping secrets from him. He will try to ask for the passwords to your phone, email, and social media accounts. Initially, you would not mind sharing this information with him because you want to show him that you can be trusted.
In his bouts of jealousy, he will pry around to find out things about you, instead of talking to you directly about what bothers him. He goes through your messages and brings up any conversation that you had with another guy.
In the same way, he browses through your social media posts and activities to look for anything suspicious. He wants to know the people whom you are interacting with on the internet. He will be threatened by a guy who frequently comments on your posts, even if you barely know the person, and starts to assume that you can get attracted to him and will become your lover.
Moreover, he oftentimes disapproves and would try to censor some of your posts and photos online. If he is not in favor of someone, he would delete their contacts from your list, with or without your consent.
Even if you say that it does not bother you, you have to admit that this is, in fact, an undesirable behavior. Soon you will realize that giving him access to your privacy also gives him the authority to slowly dominate you. If he does not trust you, he will find some ways to gain control over you.
4. He Does Not Want You Talking About Someone Else
You will notice the subtle signs of jealousy when you eagerly talk about someone other than him. He will get tense and his mood will change at the mention of another guy’s name. He may sneer, make faces, cut you off, or make scoffing remarks. His body language will show that he does not like it when you talk about another guy.
Bringing up a person from your past relationship, or sharing stories about a male friend, an acquaintance or a colleague would make him jealous. He will feel threatened that you are giving the other guy much of your attention and he might think that you are attracted to this person.
5. He Limits The People Whom You Can Talk To
A jealous partner will try to restrict your movement and interactions with the people around you. There are now certain people whom you are not allowed to talk to, because your boyfriend prohibits you to do so. The list can include your ex-partners, admirers, people you had a crush on, male colleagues, etc.
Your boyfriend will reason out that he thinks these people cannot be trusted, when in fact, he just feels jealous and is threatened by them being in communication with you. You just go along with his demands, even though you disagree and find it prejudiced, in order to avoid getting into a fight with him.
6. He Does Not Like Your Friends
At first, you are being prohibited from talking to certain people. In a while, your partner will want you to stay away from nearly anyone, including your friends. Being unreasonable and judgmental of your friends is a sign that he is jealous of them.
He has issues with the kind of friends that you have. He thinks that they could be bad influences and is afraid that they could turn you against him, eventually ruining your relationship with him. Your partner considers that they are not good enough for you.
Moreover, he could be jealous if you spend more time with your friends than with him. He would try to distance you off from them when he thinks that they are competing for your attention and affection.
In addition, having male friends will make you look like you are cheating on him. He gets anxious that you may end up wanting to date one of your friends someday. Your jealous partner wants to be treated as the only special guy in your life.
7. He Tries To Make You Jealous
Although it is not in his nature, you will find him flirting with someone else. You become aware of his activities on social media—liking and commenting on other girls’ posts and profiles. You find him checking out other women and even texting or striking up a conversation with them.
He is trying to catch your attention and making it seem like he is interested in other women. This tactic of his is an attempt at wanting you to feel the same way he feels whenever he is jealous. He may also be insinuating that you are not the only option he has and that he can easily replace you if he wants to.
In the end, when you try to confront him about his actions, he brings up the same matter with you and asks you about the time you talked to another man.
It is good to be aware of this subtle sign of jealousy so you will want to make an effort to understand him and get to the bottom of the underlying issue. In essence, there might really be nothing to worry about in your relationship. After you have cleared out your misunderstandings, you will realize that you still cherish each other and that he is still very much interested in you, more than his fleeting fascination with other women.
8. He Becomes Too Sweet And Caring
If your partner all of a sudden becomes too romantic it could be a hint he’s feeling jealous. He goes out of his way to do things for you, shows you affection, and gives you his full attention. He tries his best to win you over with his sweet gestures.
You can guess that something is off if this is not how he normally behaves. He is most likely jealous of someone—a new male colleague, a friendly neighbor, your long-time crush that is trying to reconnect with you, etc. He feels threatened and is afraid of losing you to them.
Being jealous might be embarrassing for him to admit, so he tries to hide his feelings from you instead. Eventually, you will notice the underlying issue behind this subtle sign of jealousy.
His every effort to impress you will lead you to appreciate him even more. He will make you feel the need to constantly reassure him, curb his insecurities, and tell him that he matters to you and that he is the only guy for you.
9. He Plays Hard To Get
You and your partner typically call each other a few times or frequently send text messages over the course of the day, when he suddenly starts ignoring you. He is not picking up the phone nor responding to your messages.
It seems that you have done something that your partner does not like. This behavior is actually another subtle sign of jealousy. He starts acting strangely by trying to distance himself from you and plays hard to get. All of a sudden, he seems reserved, aloof, and refuses to engage with you. In other cases, he gives you the silent treatment.
When he acts like this, he most likely wants you to chase him and win him over. He needs your reassurance and wants you to feel the need to prove your love for him.
If you think that you are not doing anything wrong but your partner is showing this sign, try talking it out with him so you do not misunderstand each other. He is probably embarrassed to admit to you directly that he is jealous. Try asking some questions for him to open up about his feelings and he might tell you why he is acting as such.
10. He Asks More Questions Than Usual
You normally engage in casual conversations with your significant other during the day. However, there comes a time when he starts asking you more questions than usual.
When the day is over, he wants to know very specific details about your activities, such as where you went, what you did, who you met with, and so on. It seems like you are being interrogated with his barrage of questions.
If this is unusual of him, you would wonder why he suddenly became more interested in your daily life. When you try to interpret his actions and understand what is going on in his mind, you will recognize that this behavior is a sign that he is jealous of something but is trying to hide it from you.
It appears that his jealousy is exhibiting possessive tendencies. This attitude of his is a manifestation that he wants to keep track of everything that you do in order to gain control over you.
11. He Is Short-Tempered
Another sign to watch out for, when your significant other is jealous but is embarrassed to admit it to you, is that he becomes short-tempered and gets angry so easily for no apparent reason.
In some cases, men have difficulty conveying strong emotions. If this is the case for your man, he may tend to show his anger when expressing his jealousy. He wants to tell you that he is upset and is trying to get your attention through his outbursts.
Moreover, since he is in the habit of suppressing his feelings, he might eventually blow up if it becomes too much for him to handle. Getting flared up might be unintentional and momentary for him. This is because he is dealing with internal conflicts and he is not being himself when having these bouts of jealousy.
12. He Shows Off
When your male lover is feeling threatened, he tries to counter his anxieties by showing off. All of a sudden, he becomes generous by buying you gifts, taking you out on dinner dates, and buying everyone’s drinks at the bar.
Exhibiting this behavior means that he is definitely jealous of someone. Considering that he is too embarrassed to reveal his emotion, he would rather fend off his insecurities by flaunting than admit to you his feelings of jealousy.
He makes every effort to impress you and the people around you, including the other guy he is jealous of. Basically, he wants to prove to you that he is the most desirable and the most suitable man for you. If he cannot impress you, he would get anxious that you might lose interest in him and then leave him for another guy.
13. He Steps Up And Acts All Tough
In the same way, as with the previous sign, he is most likely jealous and feels threatened by another guy if he suddenly acts all tough, even though it is out of his character. He masks his insecurities by displaying an arrogant and assertive attitude.
Most men have competitive mindsets. This is especially true when the competition is fueled by jealousy. Your boyfriend tends to become too protective. He steps up to gain an advantage and control over you and all the other stuff that he believes is in his ownership.
14. He Is Always Suspicious And Will Blame You For Everything
Another sign that your guy is jealous is if he is always suspicious of everything that you do. He would put the blame on you and make you feel guilty every time he is upset and feels threatened about your relationship. To cover up his insecurities, he will criticize and judge your character instead.
For instance, he accuses you of dressing inappropriately, flirting, giving the wrong motive, and cheating whenever you spend time out with your friends.
This undermining behavior of his is definitely a red flag. Dealing with jealousy through emotional manipulation is detrimental to any relationship.
Recognizing this warning sign early on can help you identify issues with your partner. You would want to work them out, set boundaries, and make concessions regarding your relationship. You can even deliberately decide if he is indeed worthy of your time and affection.
15. He Wants To Make The Decisions For You
It is quite natural for couples to do the decision-making process together and be held mutually accountable for the choices that are made. However, it is something to be cautious about if your partner wants to make all the decisions on your behalf, with or without your consent.
This behavior is a subtle sign that he is jealous and it is manifested in his controlling attitude. He orders you around, instructs you on how you should behave, and even chooses the kind of clothes you should wear.
It is sensible to be wary about his manipulative tendencies, once you recognize this undesirable trait from your partner. You should never ignore this red flag because your relationship could turn abusive in the long run, if not dealt with accordingly.
Other Signs of Jealousy Include:
16. Overanalyzing Your Conversations: He may dissect simple conversations you’ve had with others, searching for any hidden meanings or motives, which is a sign of his jealousy.
17. Overprotective Behavior: If he’s constantly on edge when other men are around you or wants to know the details about every male you talk to, that’s a hint he’s feeling jealous.
18. Avoids Talking About Certain People: He might change the subject or get uncomfortable when certain people, especially other men, are brought up, indicating a sign he’s jealous.
19. Frequent Check-ins: When he texts or calls you too often to see what you’re doing or who you’re with, this is a clue of his jealousy.
20. Compares Himself to Others: If he’s constantly comparing himself to your friends, colleagues, or past partners, this is a sign he’s feeling jealous.
21. Overcompensates with Grand Gestures: Suddenly showering you with gifts or extravagant outings could be a sign of his jealousy, especially if it’s out of the blue.
22. Overly Critical of Others: Criticizing or demeaning other people, especially other men you interact with, is a clear hint he’s feeling jealous.
23. Acts Differently in Public: If he becomes overly possessive or distant when you’re out in public, it’s a clue of his jealousy.
24. Often Wants Reassurance: Needing constant reassurance about your feelings for him or the state of your relationship can be a sign he’s jealous.
25. Checks Your Phone or Social Media: If he’s sneaking peeks at your phone or stalking your social media profiles, it’s a clear sign of his jealousy.
26. Always Wants to Attend Events with You: If he insists on being at every gathering or event you’re attending, especially if he wasn’t interested before, it’s a hint he’s feeling jealous.
27. Rarely Talks About His Feelings: Keeping his feelings bottled up but showing these other signs might indicate he’s too embarrassed to admit his jealousy.
28. Friends Notice a Change: If friends or family comment on a noticeable change in his behavior or demeanor around you, it might be a clue of his jealousy.
29. He’s Become More Secretive: If he starts hiding things or becomes less open with you, he might be projecting his jealous feelings.
30. Tries to Change Your Behavior: If he’s trying to control or alter how you act, dress, or communicate, it’s a sign he’s jealous.
31. Dislikes Your Male Friends: A sudden discomfort or dislike for your male friends can be a strong hint he’s feeling jealous.
32. Brings Up Past Situations: Continuously referencing past events, especially involving other men, is a clear clue of his jealousy.
33. Acts Passive-Aggressively: His jealousy might manifest in passive-aggressive comments or actions.
34. Wants to Know Your Schedule: If he’s always keen to know your daily plans in detail, it’s a sign he’s jealous.
35. Feels Threatened Easily: If minor interactions or friendships make him feel threatened, it’s a clear sign of his jealousy.
What To Do If Your Guy Is Jealous?
Now that you are aware of the subtle signs of jealousy, if you notice that your boyfriend, husband, or potential partner is exhibiting some of them, it is best if you can do something about it.
Acknowledging these undesirable traits is the first step towards sorting out the issues. Your jealous partner may not be aware of his behavior in some instances. On the other hand, he may be too embarrassed to admit that he is jealous and does not like to talk about it candidly.
Regardless, you need to initiate a conversation for him to start opening up to you about how he truly feels. Likewise, let him know how his actions also make you feel.
However, if it is too much to handle right now and he needs to blow off steam, you can help him keep calm and manage his jealousy by offering some validation of his emotions.
Being able to address each other’s sentiments can help your relationship move forward. Be encouraging but do not tolerate all his actions. Resolve any misunderstanding between the two of you. Talk about how you both want to be treated and establish some boundaries with your partner, such as giving you enough privacy or respecting your time.
Furthermore, be patient with him and appreciate all his efforts to bring about a change in his behavior. As this is probably a difficult time for him, it is helpful if you give him the support he needs. Also, do not hold back on the affection. Look for ways to strengthen the trust that you have for each other.
Some of the signs listed above can be frustrating but do not pose much threat to both parties. On the other hand, there are unacceptable behaviors that can lead to him developing abusive, controlling, and possessive tendencies.
When the situation persists, you can become trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Needless to say, if he cannot work out his trust issues, come to a compromise, and change his behaviors, it may be best to end things with him.
Final Thoughts
Knowing the signs that your lover is the jealous type can help you navigate through some undesirable situations. In order to alleviate his jealousy, you may feel the need to regularly share with him about your day or to show affection and declare your love for him more often.
Nevertheless, if you believe that you are being manipulated by his behaviors it must be time to assess your relationship. Considering that these signs could develop into abusive tendencies, which are red flags in any relationship, you need to talk it through with your partner and sort things out.
If necessary, you could also seek out the help of your family and friends to mediate and help settle some issues between you and your partner.
