Regret After Breaking Off an Engagement: Coping with Pain

No words can truly capture the pain and regret of breaking off an engagement. Breaking off an engagement means breaking off all the plans, visions, fantasies, and dreams you and your former partner have had. It doesn’t matter who broke it off or how it happened; the fact is it hurts, and dealing with that hurt may feel like there’s no way out.

However, the regret after breaking off an engagement can be addressed, especially as there are many ways to cope with the pain, from taking some time to reevaluate yourself to seeking help and committing to getting better. This means being patient with yourself and finding time to rediscover life’s joys.

Ending your engagement may feel like a gaping wound now, but it will never be impossible to heal. With that said, being aware of your feelings and wanting to get better is the first step in the process of healing. The next step is to know where to begin. Thus, here are ways to cope with the regret of breaking off an engagement:

Regret After Breaking Off an Engagement: 10 Ways to Cope with Pain

silhoutte of a woman basking in sun

  1. Reach out.

Nothing helps as much as telling a friend or close family member about what you feel. Sometimes, in moments of uncertainty and suffering, the comfort of a familiar face and an ear to listen can take a great weight off our shoulders.

Hence, never be afraid to reach out. Talk to your best friends or closest family members. The worst thing you can do to yourself and the process of healing is to go through all of the pain and suffering alone. Once you’ve opened yourself up to help, everything else becomes much easier to do.

  1. Find a support group.

On a similar note, another good way to reach out is to find a support group of people going through or who have gone through the same experience. Many times the best advice comes from those who understand exactly how your situation feels like, that is, they have felt the same pain in the past and have healed.

The kindness and progress of such people can also inspire you to get better by reminding you of the reality of being able to grow and move forward from the hurt of ending a relationship.

  1. Seek professional help, such as counseling or therapy.

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Even if it may seem like a worn and common solution, seeking counseling or therapy is always a wise option to consider. Professionals prepared to give you step-by-step strategies can help you cope and recover. When it comes to tailoring a specific plan for you to get back on your feet, then counseling and therapy are sound choices.

  1. Pick up and get into a new or existing hobby.

Finding a good and productive thing to preoccupy yourself with can be a reliable way to cope. Not only can you discover new ways to decongest and cultivate your skills and interests with hobbies, but you can also meet new people and find joy in making new bonds.

On the other hand, a quiet and personal hobby is likewise an excellent method to find a calm and steady way to foster yourself and help get your mind off the past.

  1. Write your feelings down.

hand writing a letter

Writing your thoughts and feelings down is a good way to vent out your deepest frustrations, sorrows, regrets, and anxieties. While this may appear negative, in truth, by articulating these feelings, you come to understand your perspective better and dissect exactly what makes you feel bad and how to address it.

You can keep a journal or diary of your thoughts and feelings. Another strategy is to write a letter to your future partner or for yourself. This helps to remind you that you care about the future, and so you’re committed to healing for your future self and partner.

  1. Retreat to the tranquility and beauty of nature.

A peaceful and awe-inspiring location can help recover both mind and spirit. With that said, consider finding some time off in quiet recesses of nature, such as a vacation far from the city or perhaps even a trip to another country.

In any case, a new environment can widen your perspective and provide a safe place for you to heal. It also allows you to gain some distance both from the place where you were hurt and from the experiences of the past.

  1. Pursue meditation and spiritual reconnection.

woman meditating

Meditation and mindfulness can realign your spiritual and mental center. This can help you thoughtfully reflect on any painful experiences and strive to let go of them. On this, taking up meditation classes may be a good idea.

Similarly, seeking solace in spiritual reconnection can help guide your way. If you’re a believer, seeking religious counseling and seeing your negative experiences as a step in finding your way back to faith can help let you heal.

  1. Forgive and be patient with yourself.

Being patient with yourself is the key ingredient to healing. By showing yourself patience as you try to get better and move beyond your previous relationship, you’re doing yourself the biggest favor in the process of healing. Moreover, by exercising patience, you open the pathway to forgiving yourself.

With that said, whatever happened that led to you breaking off your engagement is not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. There’s no need to blame anyone or anything. By showing yourself patience and forgiveness, you move past blame and into understanding and recovery.

  1. Do your best to no longer think about the past.

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Overthinking about the past can be crippling no matter what negative moment in life. Thus, as you find ways to cope, you’ll discover that what’s happened in the past is done, and there’s no longer any need to think over all the little details related to your breakup.

Indeed, as time goes on, you’ll find that you’ll fret less and less about the past, and that’s how you know that you’re well on your way to healing and continuing to grow as a person.

  1. Look forward to the future.

Finally, by being patient with yourself and no longer overthinking the past, you can look forward to the future, where the future you who has healed and developed through all that pain and struggle awaits. By looking forward to the future, you show that you’re ready to do whatever it takes to become that person.

Final Thoughts

Healing is a long and committed process. It may be painful and hard to do now, but despite it all, you’ll take care of yourself and everything is going to be OK. You’ll rediscover parts of you beyond the love you and your partner had. You’ll learn to get back on your feet and move forward to make something new.

With all that said, the most important thing to remember is to always take care of yourself and let someone know. No matter what happens, it’s always best to not go through your struggles and issues alone, even if it’s simply to remind you to keep to your commitments or to have someone to listen to your thoughts and feelings.