Is it Wrong to Want a Bigger Engagement Ring? 3 Reasons Why

To take their relationship to the next level, couples get engaged. As exciting and memorable a proposal is, it can also be stressful. This is especially the case for the person who will be proposing. Besides insecurities, they also have to worry about picking an engagement ring. Not everyone gets it right on the first try.

On this occasion, people wonder, “Is it wrong to want a bigger engagement ring?” Above anything else, they worry about hurting their partner’s feelings. Here are 3 reasons why people may want a bigger engagement ring:

  1. Your partner might not be able to afford a bigger engagement ring.
  2. You are only worried about what other people might think.
  3. You think the size of the ring is equal to how much your partner loves you.

The common reasons people want a bigger engagement ring are explained in more detail below, along with why they may be wrong. Some valid reasons are then given. Lastly, tips for what to do when you want a bigger engagement ring are enumerated.

Why Is It Wrong to Want a Bigger Engagement Ring?

woman wearing her engagement ring

1. Your partner might not be able to afford a bigger engagement ring.

In general, jewelry is expensive. Wedding and engagement rings cost at least several hundred dollars; the more intricate designs can retail for over a thousand dollars. If your partner proposed using a smaller ring, it might indicate that they have a limited budget.

In this case, it is wrong to want a bigger engagement ring. Doing so puts a heavy financial burden on your partner. If they buy a bigger engagement ring, they may end up going into debt.

2. You are only worried about what other people might think.

man holding hand with a woman showing off engagement ring

Undeniably, people are sometimes judged about the accessories they are wearing. Some people might think it is too simple, too small, or not flashy enough. These opinions come from a materialistic viewpoint.

Ultimately, you risk being superficial if this is your motivation behind wanting a bigger engagement ring. The point of an engagement ring is not to wear it and compete with others. Rather, it is a symbol and announcement of the love and commitment in a relationship.

3. You think the size of the ring is equal to how much your partner loves you.

man holding a woman's hand with a ring

There is a common misconception that the bigger the ring, the bigger the love your partner feels. This belief has been perpetuated by marketing tactics for decades, which is why it persists in some people.

This correlation is a myth. You cannot quantify love with a monetary value or ring size. Believing so is also a manifestation of materialism and superficial views. 

Valid Reasons for Wanting a Bigger Engagement Ring

You Have Different Preferences

woman's hand with engagement ring

Everyone has their own style, preferences, and sense of aesthetics. Even if your partner knows you well, they might not be able to nail your preferences. As they usually say, they cannot read your mind.

Among all the reasons to want a bigger engagement ring, this is the most valid. However, you have to be careful with dealing with this situation. Your partner might feel bad or offended if you do not tactfully express what you feel.

To avoid this, you must talk about preferences and expectations before the engagement. This is easier said than done, but it is necessary. You can subtly bring it up in random conversations, or you can have a discussion specifically about this topic.

The Stone Is Too Small or Too Big for Your Finger.

woman taking off engagement ring

Our fingers vary in width and length. If you have bigger fingers, a bigger center stone would look the best. Smaller center stones look best with smaller fingers. This may be a valid reason to change your engagement ring, though it may also come across as superficial.

Tips for When You Want a Bigger Engagement Ring

engagement ring on a box

Think About It for a Few Days 

Before you make any decision regarding your engagement ring, wear it around for a few days. You might just need some time to get used to it; after a couple of days, you may find that it looks good on you.

You might also find issues that need to be addressed, such as its size. When you visit the jeweler to get it resized, you can consider getting the ring modified or redesigned.

If you still believe that you want a bigger engagement ring after a few days, here are some recommendations you can consider.

Talk to Your Partner

couple talking over coffee

This conversation will be difficult to initiate. However, if you truly want a bigger engagement ring, you must inform your partner. They will feel worse if you change your ring without them knowing; they might feel angry, betrayed, and inadequate.

This conversation is best initiated in private and when both of you are in a good mood. It might be best to start by stressing how much you love and appreciate your partner.

Explain to them your reasoning behind your desire for a bigger ring. It might be that you think the ring does not suit you, you had a different style in mind, and so on. Emphasize the fact that they should not take this decision personally.

Be prepared for some resistance and hurt feelings. Give them space to express their emotions. You must respond calmly, patiently, and understandingly. Continue the conversation, after a break if necessary, until you reach an agreement. If anything, this is a test for the strength of your relationship. Once you pass this trial, you will have a stronger partnership.

Work with a Trustworthy Jeweler

When buying a bigger engagement ring, make sure that your jeweler is trustworthy and reputable. Moreover, make sure that they see your vision clearly and that they are easy to work with. If you are not comfortable with them, it might be time to find a different jeweler.

Keep in mind that well-renowned brands do not always guarantee the highest quality. It is wise to browse through your options and compare prices first.

Get a Ring with a Slimmer Band

man putting on a ring on a woman's hand

One reason your center stone can look small is the width of the band. A wider band will make any stone seem smaller than it is; oppositely, slimmer bands will put more emphasis on the center stone.

If you choose a slimmer band, you do not necessarily have to get a larger stone. If available, opt for a band with a tapered configuration. These design choices combined will give the illusion of a bigger engagement ring.

Choose a Different Diamond Shape

beautiful engagement ring

The most common diamond shape for a ring is round. However, they also tend to be more expensive. The steep prices of round-shape diamonds are due to the amount of work it takes to produce them; moreover, there is also a lot of wastage when creating round diamonds.

Instead of going for a bigger round-shape diamond, browse through the other shape options. For instance, a bigger oval-shaped diamond will cost the same as a smaller round-shape diamond.

Opt for Slimmer Prongs

Another important design choice is the prongs. These prongs are small pieces of metal that hold your center stone in place, preventing it from falling. Rings have various prong settings, diameters, and spacings. With the right configuration, the center stone will look bigger.

Slimmer prongs are ideal; they will cover less of the center stone. Furthermore, opt for a 4-prong setting instead of a 6-prong. Consequently, more light will hit the stone, allowing it to sparkle and shine brighter.

Choose a Ring with a Halo Setting

shimmering engagement ring

A ring with a halo setting means that the center stone is surrounded by smaller accent stones. As a result, the center stone appears bigger than it actually is. This setting works best with a solitaire setting. Ultimately, opting for a ring with a halo setting will save you money.

Get a Ring with a Bright White Metal Band

Bright white metal bands will make any center stone appear bigger. This is because of their reflective and shiny properties. Ask your jeweler what options they have in this finish. If you feel overwhelmed, consider going for a platinum or rhodium-plated white gold band.

Pay Attention to the Cut

engagement ring on top of a book

Most people only look at the carat weight when talking about the size of a diamond. However, you need to pay more attention to the diamond’s cut. The cut refers to the diamond’s overall proportions, symmetry, and polish. This quantity affects three main physical qualities of a diamond:

  • Brilliance → refers to essentially how much a diamond shines. This is the result of the combination of white light that interact with the interior of the stone and its surface.
  • Fire → refers to flashes of color. This is the result of the dispersion of light into visible colors under a light source.
  • Scintillation → refers to how much a diamond sparkles. Technically, it is the flashes of brightness and darkness that you see when you move the diamond with respect to a light source.

As mentioned above, the round brilliant shape is the most popular option for engagement rings. They have a breathtaking combination of the qualities mentioned above. However, they are more expensive than other cuts. Instead, you can consider the following alternatives:

  • Princess cut → has a pyramidal, angular shape with four beveled sides. It has an overall geometric and contemporary look. This cut is cheaper than a round brilliant diamond because it results in less wastage.
  • Oval cut → has an elongated circular shape. Oval-cut diamonds generally have the same number of facets as round diamonds, giving them similar physical qualities. However, they come in a wider variety of proportions. Comparing the two cuts with similar properties, round brilliant diamonds are generally 10% to 30% more expensive than oval-cut diamonds.
  • Cushion cut → has a distinct rounded square shape. Because cushion-cut diamonds have 58 facets, they have a magnificent fire quality to them. Depending on the configuration of the facets, you will see a “hearts and arrows” pattern or a “crushed ice” pattern.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, engagement rings are a symbol of love, unity, and commitment. The sentiment behind one matters more than its price or appearance. However, if you want a bigger engagement ring, be prepared to talk to your partner. This might be a difficult conversation, but it is necessary.