Wedding planning is a massive commitment. Depending on how far you are in the process, you may have already spent thousands of dollars hiring planners, renting decorations, buying outfits, and more. Thus, it might feel like you have to go through with it — even if you do not want to.
At one point, you might ask yourself, “When is it too late to cancel a wedding?” The short answer is never — you can cancel your wedding anytime. More explanation is provided below, followed by some reasons why canceling makes sense in certain situations and how to do it.
When is it Too Late to Cancel a Wedding? Answered
As mentioned above, it is never too late to cancel a wedding. You can announce that the wedding is off six months, three months, two weeks, or a few days before the day itself.
If it brings you any comfort, about 15 to 20% of engagements do not push through. If you decide to call off your wedding, you are not alone or irrational in doing so.
Reasons Why You May Have to Cancel Your Wedding
- You and your partner have simply fallen out of love, and it does not make sense to enter a loveless marriage.
- You feel as if your relationship is moving too fast, and you need more time to get to know your partner. You want to make sure you are right for each other.
- Your partner is abusive.
- You are starting to see your partner’s red flags, and you think spending the rest of your life with them is not a great idea.
- You think a wedding — even a small one at that — will financially harm you. You may cancel your wedding and go for a private wedding with no guests or an elopement.
- Your wedding does not feel “right” or “natural.”
- You did not have a choice in picking your partner. Your parents may have arranged the marriage for you, and you do not want to push through with it.
- You or your partner keep changing your minds.
- A major life change might make getting married an unwise decision. Examples include needing to move, getting hospitalized, etc.
- There are problems or issues within the family. You can prioritize resolving these issues or elope instead and avoid them.
- You found out your partner has been dishonest to you. They may have lied about something major, cheated on you with someone, etc.
- You and your partner have different plans in life. For example, one of you might want kids while the other does not.
Helpful Tips for Canceling a Wedding
Talk to a Professional
Getting engaged is a monumental commitment, so breaking it off can feel intimidating and overwhelming. You might feel like you have no choice, or the peer pressure seems too strong. After all, your friends and family might also be invested in your relationship.
You do not have to navigate these feelings alone. In fact, it is in your best interest to look for someone to talk to.
Approach a counselor, or bring this topic up with your therapist. They will help you unpack your emotions and come to a conclusion that works best for you.
A counselor, therapist, or pastor can also help you navigate your feelings after you make the announcement.
Realize That Marriage Will Not Make Problems Go Away
One of the reasons why couples do not call off their wedding despite wanting to is they think getting married will make their issues go away. They might think the stress from planning their wedding is making their partner a worse version of themselves.
However, rose-colored glasses do not make red flags go away — you just cannot see them as red. Once the honeymoon phase wears off, you will see those flags for what they are.
Consider Visiting a Marriage Counselor or Therapist
Once you find yourself asking, “When is it too late to cancel a wedding?” take it as a sign that something needs to change.
One of your options is to visit a couples’ therapist or marriage counselor together. These professionals can equip you with the tools necessary to resolve your issues.
However, it is also necessary to acknowledge that sometimes, the solution is the dissolution of the engagement.
Your visits to these professionals can help you realize what is best for you and how to work through the aftermaths of your decision.
Look Toward the Future
Another reason why people hesitate to call off their engagement is because of the time they have been together. A couple in their 30s who has been together for five years might refuse to cancel their wedding because they have been together for five years.
However, do not feel as if you are “throwing away” your years together. Instead, look at it as investing in your future. You are not letting yourself enter a marriage that will not work; you are giving yourself the time, space, and freedom to find what works for you.
Check Your Contracts Thoroughly
Even though it is never too late to cancel a wedding, you have some logistical issues to keep in mind. Make sure to read the fine print in your contracts, especially their policies on cancelations. You might have to pay full balances, sign some forms, and contact other people.
Likewise, just discuss your decision to cancel the wedding with your vendors. Not only is it good to keep them in the loop, but they will also guide you through the cancelation process.
It is worth stressing that the answer to “When is it too late to cancel a wedding?” is never. However, it is in your best interest to do it as soon as possible. Besides your own benefit, announcing it early will also be more convenient for your guests who have to make travel plans.