Bachelorette parties are highly stigmatized as hypersexual, rowdy events. The first image of bachelorette parties that pops into people’s minds usually involves alcohol, strippers, and infidelity.
Bachelorette party cheating is a common and understandable source of anxiety for partners. Unfortunately, it does happen — research has estimated that 2.6 percent of women cheat at their bachelorette parties. This may seem like a small figure, but it is still more than what is acceptable.
More information about cheating at bachelorette parties is given below, including an answer to the question, “Is it okay to cheat at a bachelorette party?” Tips for what to do before a bachelorette party are then enumerated. Moreover, tips for what to do if your bride-to-be cheats on you during her bachelorette party are also provided.
How Common is Cheating at Bachelorette Parties?
According to Statistic Brain, only 2.6 percent of women cheat on their partners during their bachelorette party. However, this figure should be taken with a grain of salt. Not only is the study already several years old, but statistical approximations always have a margin of error. Respondents might also be dishonest about their answers.
Regardless of the actual figure, cheating at bachelorette parties does happen. Plenty of people have already attested to this; friends of the bride, distraught fiancés, sex workers, and brides-to-be have shared stories of infidelity during a night out.
Is It Okay to Cheat at a Bachelorette Party?
Many people view bachelor and bachelorette parties as an engaged person’s “last fling before the ring.” In other words, these pre-wedding events are a “free pass” to do anything they would normally not do. This includes cheating on their partner.
Cheating does not always have to be a one-night stand. Touching or groping a stripper, making out with one, and any other sexual act can be considered cheating. Moreover, becoming emotionally connected and intimate with another person may be viewed as emotional cheating.
There are several reasons why a bride-to-be might cheat on her partner during a bachelorette party. This includes:
- She is having second thoughts about entering a marriage. Getting cold feet before a major event, especially a wedding, is common. After all, it is a massive commitment.
- She is unsure about her feelings for you. A woman who truly and wholeheartedly loves her partner will be faithful in any circumstance. Infidelity is an indicator that she is not as committed to your relationship as she should be.
- She is not yet ready to let go of life as a single woman. Marriage entails a lot of responsibility. It also requires some changes in the way one lives. This is understandably daunting for some people.
- She is simply a cheater. There is not enough research to conclude if infidelity is biologically determined. However, it is believed to be influenced by societal, cultural, and personal factors. All this to say, some people cheat because they are cheaters.
However, even if a certain number of people do it, that does not make it okay. Likewise, no reason or motivation behind the act will make cheating okay. Cheating is never acceptable and justifiable in any situation.
What to Do Before a Bachelorette Party
Have an Honest Conversation with Your Partner
If your partner is involved with the planning of her bachelorette party, talk to her about it. Ask her what the itinerary includes, where it will be held, and other pertinent details. If she is not involved in the planning, talk to those who are.
Set Your Boundaries
During this conversation, setting boundaries must be a priority. If something makes you uncomfortable, let them know about it. The planners of this pre-wedding event should consider your comfort.
For instance, you may find that you are okay with them having strippers at the party. However, you do not want any physical contact between them and your partner. This includes lap dances, kisses, and other gimmicks.
Trust Your Partner
Trust is an essential part of any relationship; you have spent months, even years, cultivating and strengthening it. Rely on this trust while your bride is out at her bachelorette party. Trust that if ever something does happen, she will be upfront and transparent about it with you.
Trust Your Partner’s Friends
A bachelorette party’s guest list only consists of several people. You may not know all of them well, but you still have to put your trust in them. Trust that they will keep your bride in check and not overindulge her. If it will make you feel better, ask someone from the guest list to update you if anything happens.
What to Do if the Bride to Be Cheated at a Bachelorette Party
Speak up About It
Contrary to popular belief, what happens at a bachelorette party does not always have to stay at a bachelorette party. If you were present at a bachelorette party and witnessed the bride-to-be cheating, speak up about it. The responsible thing to do is tell her partner; you might spare them from a marriage filled with distrust, pain, and anger.
By informing the groom, you are also looking out for his health. The person the bride cheated on him with may have a transmissible disease. If the infidelity goes unchecked, the bride-to-be may also infect him with the disease.
You might be branded as a “snitch” if you do this. However, staying silent implies that you condone and support that behavior; do not enable cheaters. Know that if you speak up, you are doing the morally right thing.
Give Yourself Some Space to Think
Understandably, finding out your bride-to-be cheated on you is overwhelming. Instead of reacting at the moment, take a step back and give yourself some time. Doing otherwise might result in a fight. Process your emotions, organize your thoughts, and initiate a conversation once you are ready.
Speak to a Couples Therapist
If you are finding it difficult to cope with or process your emotions, consider speaking to a therapist. They are equipped to help you deal with the conflicting feelings you have.
It is also worth visiting a couples’ therapist before the bachelorette party takes place. They can facilitate the conversation of setting healthy and realistic boundaries. They can also give you exercises to improve your trust and openness to each other.
Call Off the Wedding
Upon reflection, you might determine that irreparable damage has been done to your relationship. Trust is difficult to build, but it is easy to destroy. Infidelity is frequently cited as a reason for the disintegration of relationships, as it ruins the trust between partners.
You are free to cancel the wedding altogether. This is easier said than done, as societal, parental, and personal pressures might compel you to do otherwise. However, entering a marriage where you cannot trust your partner never ends well.
It is worth stressing that cheating is never okay, even and especially during a bachelorette party. Trying to justify it as her “last night of freedom” is also factually incorrect; this freedom has been gone since she agreed to enter a monogamous relationship.
If your bride-to-be cheats on you during her bachelorette party, know that your feelings are valid. It is overwhelming, upsetting, and infuriating. However, be mindful of what you do with your anger; release it healthily and productively.
If you are a friend of the bride-to-be, or simply a witness to the act, inform the groom. Doing so is in everyone’s best interest. More importantly, you are making a stance that cheating will not be enabled nor tolerated, and cheaters need to face the consequences of their actions.