Funny and Short Maid of Honor Speeches (With Examples)

Being chosen as a maid of honor is a privilege that comes with plenty of responsibilities. One of its highlights is having to deliver a maid of honor speech about the couple, getting to introduce them to the guests from your perspective, and sharing the love with everyone in the room.

Funny and short maid of honor speeches can last up to three minutes. They typically include the following elements: the maid of honor’s introduction, discussion about her relationship with the bride and groom, some funny anecdotes and jokes, and well-wishes for the couple. 

Below are instructions for preparing a maid of honor speech, followed by five examples of funny and short maid of honor speeches you can use as inspiration or templates. Lastly, other things you need to keep in mind regarding speeches from a maid of honor are also enumerated.

Writing Your Own Maid of Honor Speech That’s Short and Funny

woman writing speech

What Should a Short Maid of Honor Speech Contain?

The beginning of the writing process is often the most intimidating part. You may worry about saying the wrong thing, sharing too much information, not having the necessary skills to draft a speech. However, knowing how and where to start can immensely help streamline the process. Here is an outline or list of aspects you may want to include:

  • Introduce yourself. The guests may not be entirely familiar with who you are, which is why you must make a short introduction before proceeding with the body of the speech. Say your name, what your relationship with the bride is, and how long you have known her.
  • Thank the people who made the event possible. Briefly express your gratitude to the people who planned the wedding, the vendors (e.g., photographer, videographer, caterer, etc.), and the guests.
  • Talk about the bride. Expound on your relationship with the bride and how you two met. Describe the bride as a person; tell everyone what you think her best qualities are. Share an anecdote that will illustrate your bond.
  • Talk about the groom. Describe his qualities and personality and talk about why you think he is perfect for the bride.
  • Talk about their relationship. Tell the story of how they met, got to know each other, and started falling in love. If you have one, share a funny or memorable anecdote that will encapsulate their relationship. Talk about why they work so well together and why they would make the perfect newlyweds.
  • Say your well-wishes. Let the newlyweds know what you wish for them and their future. This may include good fortune, lots of adventures, success, a happy family, and so on. You may take a quote from your favorite piece of media or recite a poem to make it more sentimental.
  • End with a celebratory toast to the bride and groom. This can be as simple as, “A toast to the newlyweds!”

What to Avoid Including in Your Speech

  • Inside jokes. Although they may be really funny, odds are your guests would need context to fully understand the joke. If jokes do not land with the audience, the atmosphere can quickly become awkward. Given the limited amount of time you have, including an inside joke may not be in your best interest.
  • Long quotes. Similarly, long quotes may take up a lot of time in your speech. Guests might also find it boring, as it is not words that are coming directly from you.
  • Inappropriate stories or jokes. There is a fine line between risqué and inappropriate, which is sometimes difficult to navigate. It would be best not to include anything too suggestive or vulgar, especially if there are kids, older people, and conservatives in the audience.

Take a Trip Down Memory Lane

friends women

Before beginning a draft of your funny and short maid of honor speech, it will help if you spend some time reflecting on the past. Specifically, reminisce about your relationship with the bride and the groom. Doing so will highly inform your speech and make it easier to write. Refer to the list above that outlines what is generally included in a funny maid of honor speech and use it as a guide for your reflection.

There Is No Right or Wrong Way to Write a Speech

Every relationship between a maid of honor and a bride is different; every guest list in a wedding reception is different. With that said, the lists above should not be taken as rules but as recommendations. After all, you know the couple best, and you have a better idea of what will be palatable to your guests.

Start Drafting Your Speech

After taking everything into consideration, it is finally time to draft your speech. Many prolific writers advise that you write everything first, and once you have written everything, only then should you make edits.

Revising is an essential step to any piece. During revisions, you should be mindful of not only grammatical errors but also the conciseness and flow of your words. Reciting your speech to yourself and someone you trust can help you spot areas of improvement, along with giving you more confidence to speak in front of a crowd.

Examples of Short and Funny Maid of Honor Speeches

woman making speech

“1. Hello, everyone! If we haven’t had the pleasure to meet, my name is Karen.

Melissa and I have been best friends since we were in diapers. Apparently, we were the noisiest babies at the daycare. Here we are, more than 20 years later, just as close and just as loud.

I’m not usually a fan of giving speeches because I get nervous easily, but if there’s anything you should know about Melissa, it’s that she has the best puppy eyes you’ll ever come across. The first thing Josh and I bonded over was the fact that we can’t ever say “No” to her.

Over the years, I’ve gotten to know Josh really well. I, as well as everyone in this room, know that they’re perfect for each other. For instance, Josh is a really good cook and Melissa is a really good eater! And Josh breaks a lot of things, but Melissa is the craftiest person I know.

With that said, I know that they’ll have a wonderful and lifelong marriage. Josh and Melissa, I wish you all the best; may your dogs finally learn how to do cool tricks, may your rice never be burnt at the bottom, and may your love only grow stronger with age.

To Josh and Melissa! Cheers!”

“2. Buongiorno a tutti!

First of all, I want to thank all of you for making it here to the beautiful region of Tuscany for the union of our dear Sam and Carlo. When Sam first told me that she wanted a destination wedding in Italy, the first thing I asked was, “Isn’t that expensive? What about your guests?” Well, it seems like none of y’all had any problem getting here!

Kidding aside, hi, everyone! I’m Gina, and I’ve been Sam’s best friend since high school. Who knew two nerds would get along so well? But seriously, without Sam, high school and college would’ve been so unbearable. She’s such an uplifting, inspiring, and cheerful person to be with.

When Sam and Carlo met during junior year, I thought it was the cutest thing ever. It’s the stuff of romcoms: boy bumps into girl, girl drops her books, their hands bump while they pick up the books… I swear Sam wouldn’t stop screaming at me about it for days!

I’m sure everyone has heard someone say that high school sweethearts don’t last. However, Sam and Carlo are living proof that with love, communication, and plenty of healthy arguments about books and movies, high school relationships last. Besides, they’re the most dedicated — or stubborn, both works — people I know, and if they set their heart and mind to it, they can get through everything.

I love the two of you so much, and I wish you all the best. I know you’ll be the main-characters-power-couple you’ve always aspired to be. Alla tua!”

“3. For those of you who have not had the honor to meet me, my name is Anne Marie.

Hannah and I have been best friends for over a decade now since we became roommates for a few years in college. To be honest, it sometimes feels like she’s my sister from another mother: we wear each other’s clothes, steal each other’s food, and bicker with each other to no end. It doesn’t help that I’m always right, but that’s beside the point.

From the moment Hannah met Alex, I could immediately tell that Hannah liked him. It’s honestly not that hard to tell — it’s hard for her to stay quiet, but whenever Alex was around, Hannah could not say a single coherent thing.

Like most of the guys Hannah had dated, I was of course skeptical of Alex. What was even more suspicious was the fact that he likes math. Who likes math? But other than that, Alex passed all the best friend tests: remembering both the important and minor details, respecting her freedom to be her, and knowing what food to get her whenever she gets all grumpy.

They are the cutest couple ever; I don’t usually say this, but they’re really #CoupleGoals. They give me faith that one day, I’ll find a man who truly loves me, enough to go a few miles away just to get takeout from my favorite sushi restaurant whenever I’m feeling down.

It is an honor to stand here today in front of you all as the maid of honor and second most beautiful woman in the room. Second only to Hannah’s mom, of course. Thank you all for coming, and I hope you have a lovely evening ahead. Cheers!

after wedding party

“4. Hello, everyone! I hope you are all having an amazing day so far.

My name is Val, and for those of you who do not know me, I am Maxine’s older sister. Watching her grow to be the beautiful young woman she is today has been an emotional rollercoaster; I felt all possible emotions like pride, happiness, irritation, impatience, and more.

My big sister instincts have always pushed me to be protective of Maxine. Every boy that wanted to date her had to face me and our dad. To us, Maxine was a precious and tenacious girl who deserved a man who can stand his ground. Many of them failed — not because we had standards that were too high, definitely not.

But Justin was different. Maxine had always lit up the room she’s in, but with Justin, she was positively glowing. She was always smiling, always giggling, always in a happy mood whenever they were together. I distinctly remember the moment I knew they were perfect for each other: on their first anniversary, Justin built multiple bookcases so that Maxine can finally have the home library of her dreams.

I know that getting married is an intimidating time in your life, as this brings about so many changes that it can quickly become overwhelming. However, having been married for a few years now, I can share an important tip I wish I knew sooner. There are three things you and Justin need to have for a lifelong marriage: a sense of humor, a short memory, and selective hearing.

I love you so much. Thank you everyone for being with us today to celebrate the marriage of my dear sister and Justin. Ladies and gentlemen, raise your glasses and join me in wishing Maxine and Justin a happy, successful, and strong marriage. To love and lots of patience!

“5. Hi, everyone! Firstly, thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the love of Emma and Xavier.

On behalf of the amazing group of bridesmaids that helped plan this event, we appreciate all of you being with us today. Let’s also give a round of applause to our incredible photographers, videographer, caterers, and wedding DJ. Hopefully, my ugly crying moment wasn’t caught on camera.

Anyway. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Whitney. Emma has been my best friend, honorary sister, moral compass, and occasional therapist for more than a decade now. The most amazing thing about Emma is that she’s so supportive of everything I do but she never forgets to be caring and constructive. I cannot tell you the number of times she’s had to sit me down and talk some sense into me.

Xavier is just like Emma. They’re both very practical, logical, and thoughtful. Even the way they argue about things is very logical — for example, when they travel, they come up with entire PowerPoint presentations and spreadsheets that justify why they want to go to a specific destination. It’s cute, really, and I make sure to share my opinion even if they didn’t ask for it. Especially when they didn’t ask for it.

But jokes aside, my heart is happy knowing that Emma and Xavier found each other. To Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I wish nothing but the best for you two; may you find success in your personal lives, and may your love grow more radiant as it ages. May your future children be blessed with rich parents. To Emma and Xavier!

Other Things to Consider for Your Speech

bridesmaid bride

Include Your Sentiments About the Ceremony

Although your funny and short maid of honor speech has been ready days before the wedding, it is best to include a few words regarding the ceremony. Mention how you felt about assisting the bride as she got ready, how it felt to see her walk down the aisle, and so on. This topic will give you additional room to make your guests laugh, shed a tear, or even both.

Find the Perfect Balance Between Sentimental and Humorous

Your short and funny maid of honor speech should not consist exclusively of jokes and quips. Be mindful of having too many jokes in your speech, as you might end up rushing through your delivery. Doing so may make your guests feel awkward or bored. Ideally, your guests can both laugh and feel touched by your words.

Are Maids of Honor Required to Give a Speech?

While it is not technically required, maids of honor are highly encouraged and expected to give a speech during the reception. They can be as sweet and sentimental or funny and comedic as they want. However, if a maid of honor would prefer not to speak in front of a crowd, she is more than welcome to refuse.

toast wedding reception

When Is the Speech Delivered?

Speeches of any kind are generally delivered after the reception meal. After wedding reception prayers and speeches from the bride’s parents, the floor goes to either the best man or maid of honor.  The Champagne toast can be initiated by any of the people giving a speech, which includes the maid of honor.

Length of Maid of Honor Speeches

A good rule of thumb would be to not let your short maid of honor speech exceed three minutes. Anything over three minutes is too long, and the guests may end up not listening to what you have to say. Moreover, you may have a limited amount of time in the venue, so it is best not to take up too much time.

Bring Cue Cards

Besides the anxiety that comes with public speaking, maids of honor also worry about forgetting what they want to say in their speech. However, bringing a script and reading from it the entire time may seem disingenuous. To work around this, you may jot down key points of your speech on small cue cards. Dissecting your speech into manageable sections makes it easier to memorize and deliver.

Final Thoughts

Seeing someone you love so elated is one of the best feelings in the world. It is an honor to be chosen as a maid of honor because you will be part of the bride’s most important day in her life. Giving a short and funny maid of honor speech will make the reception more memorable, and it is a memory you will cherish for years to come.

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